Karaoke Night
by weiss kittyn
Summary: hehe...Karaoke night for Weiss and Schwarz...Poor Ran and Crawford....Some of you may recognise the song. Not a songfic, but there is some singing..... please R&R. This is the first nonyaoi fic i have written in ages, because there are no pairings.
1. CellBlock Tango

Karaoke Night  
  
Disclaimers: Weiss Kreuz and all its characters do not belong to me. If they did, I wouldn't be writing fanfics about them. They belong to Koyasu Takehito, and a whole bunch of other people. The Cell Block Tango doesn't belong to me either. It belongs to the movie Chicago, starring Renee Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you do, for not only is this an awesome song, its an awesome movie as well. - Enjoy the fic!  
  
Brad and Ran settled themselves at a table near the stage so they could watch the different shows. After a few songs, the place grew even darker.  
  
"Pop." Nearly whispered. Crawford glanced at the stage.  
  
"Did that sound familiar to you?"  
  
"Six."  
  
Ran looked around. That voice had definately been a familiar one.  
  
"Squish."  
  
Wasn't that...? Ran and Brad looked at eachother, then the stage in horror.  
  
"Uh uh."  
  
You could hear the smirk....  
  
"Cicero."  
  
What?!  
  
"Lipschitz."  
  
The words were so soft that they were nearly unhearable. They were repeated again, louder.  
  
"Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uhh. Cicero. Lipschitz."  
  
The stage lights came on, bathing Ran and Brad in light, highlighting their matching shocked expressions.  
  
A disembodied voice floated out of the darkness.  
  
"And now, the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of..The Cell Block Tango."  
  
The music swelled.  
  
"He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it"  
  
The second to last leaned forward;  
  
"I bet that you would have done the same..."  
  
Ken stepped forward.  
  
"You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie. Bernie like to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day, And I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'. So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... ...into his head."  
  
Aya's eyes were wide as saucers. Ken shimmied back into the shadows, and was replaced by a lanky blonde.  
  
"I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner. And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."  
  
Brad found himself chuckling at Yohji's motions as he spoke. Ran was still frozen to his seat. He got some of his own back when Yohji stepped back, as something glinted in the spotlight.  
  
"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', "you been screwin the milkman." And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!"  
  
With that, Farfarello gave his beloved utensil a long, loud sluurp.  
  
Ran allowed himself a glance at his Schwarz counterpart and was rewarded by look of utter disbelief on the clairvoyants face. It only got better.  
  
"Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg..."  
  
"Was that Hungarian? I didn't think Schuldig even KNEW Hungarian!" Brad's face was priceless.  
  
"Yeah, but did you do it?" asked Ken from the left side of the stage. Schu shook his head, looking convincingly distressed.  
  
"Uh uh...Not Guilty!" The smirk almost ruined it. Of course, Schuldig's name was 'Guilty'.  
  
The music took a slow turn, and now it was time for both Ran AND Brad to imitate fish. Neither was expecting THIS...  
  
My sister, Veronica and I did this double act and my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row. One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles, back flips,flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later,  
  
when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead!"  
  
Ran gaped like a goldfish. "OMI?"  
  
The normally genki teen had a vicious look on his face as he sang.  
  
"They had it coming They had it coming They had it coming They had it coming They had it coming all along They had it coming all along I didn't do it She didn't do it But if I done it But if she done it How could you tell me that I was wrong?"  
  
The other five backed him up, singing as they swung around on chairs, poles, and it looked like Farf was hanging onto a rope.  
  
Finally Nagi stepped forward. His usually quiet voice rang out loud and clear in the dead silence of the Karaoke bar.  
  
"I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead."  
  
All six of them started dancing around again, singing.  
  
"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
All along All along 'Cause if they used us 'Cause if they used us And they abused us And they abused us How could you tell us that we were wrong?  
  
He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame.  
He only had himself to blame.  
If you'd have been there If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
Pop...Six...Squish...Uh uhh....Cicero....Lipschitz"  
  
With that the stage went black, and the crowd went wild. Ran and Brad were in too much of a state of shock than do much more than stare in bewilderment.  
  
"Didn't see this one coming, eh, Crawford?" Ran's tone was blank with amazement.  
  
"Not this time." Crawford's voice was equally flat.  
  
The six troublmakers came prancing into the main area, looking insanely pleased with themselves. Crawford turned to Ran.  
  
"You know this warrants retaliatory action, don't you?"  
  
Ran smiled, knowingly. "What do you have in mind?"  
  
This was spawned one day in the car listening to the song. My friend and I just said...Can't you see the Weiss and Schwarz boys up on stage singing this? So we worked out the order (which one would sing what, based loosely on personality.. Yohji got the second one because of all the wives the man had. Farfie got the one with the knife. Omi, since he is so genki-happy- joyjoy all the time, well, i had to give him the main role. the rest just kind of fell into place, after we decided that Ran and Crawford would be in the audience staring in shock and wonder. Wait for the sequel, it'll be good... - )  
  
Love ya, you know i do  
  
Weiss Kittyn 


	2. a little something more

(Full lyrics-since i left out the chorus.. i got this from , and i'm assuming its directly from the movie, since it tells you which girl sings which part.. this is LONG...  
  
LIZ Pop ANNIE Six JUNE Squish HUNYAK Uh uh VELMA Cicero MONA Lipschitz!  
  
LIZ Pop ANNIE Six JUNE Squish HUNYAK Uh uh VELMA Cicero MONA Lipschitz!  
  
ANNOUNCER And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"  
  
LIZ Pop ANNIE Six JUNE Squish HUNYAK Uh uh VELMA Cicero MONA Lipschitz! (4X)  
  
ALL He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it  
  
VELMA I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
LIZ Pop ANNIE Six JUNE Squish HUNYAK Uh uh VELMA Cicero MONA Lipschitz! (2X)  
  
LIZ (Spoken) You know how people have these little habits That get you down. Like Bernie. Bernie like to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day, And I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'. So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... ...into his head.  
  
ALL He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have heard it I betcha you would Have dome the same!  
  
ANNIE (Spoken) I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner. And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.  
  
ALL He had it coming He had it coming He took a flower In its prime And then he used it And he abused it It was a murder But not a crime!  
  
JUNE (Spoken) Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', "you been screwin the milkman." And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!  
  
ALL If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
HUNYAK (Spoken in Hungarian) Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...  
  
JUNE (Spoken) Yeah, but di you do it?  
  
HUNYAK UH UH, not guilty!  
  
VELMA My sister, Veronica and I did this double act and my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles, back flips,flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead.  
  
VELMA They had it coming GIRLS They had it coming VELMA They had it coming GIRLS They had it coming VELMA They had it coming all along GIRLS They had it coming all along VELMA I didn't do it GIRLS She didn't do it VELMA But if I done it GIRLS But if she done it VELMA How could you tell me that I was wrong?  
  
VELMA They had it coming GIRLS They had it coming VELMA They had it coming GIRLS They had it coming VELMA They had it coming GIRLS They took a flower VELMA All along GIRLS In its prime VELMA I didn't do it GIRLS And then they used it VELMA But if I'd done it, How could you tell me that I was wrong?  
  
MONA(Spoken) I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead.  
  
ALL The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
  
Group 1 They had it comin' Group 2 They had it comin' Group 1 They had it comin' Group 2 They had it comin' Group 1 They had it comin' Group 2 They had it comin' Group 1 All along Group 2 All along Group 1 'Cause if they used us Group 2 'Cause if they used us Group 1 And they abused us Group 2 And they abused us ALL How could you tell us that we were wrong?  
  
Group 1 He had it coming Group 2 He had it coming Group 1 He only had himself to blame. Group 2 He only had himself to blame. Group 1 If you'd have been there Group 2 If you'd have been there Group 1 If you'd have seen it Group 2 If you'd have seen it ALL I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
LIZ (Spoken) You pop that gum one more time! ANNIE (spoken) Single my ass. JUNE (Spoken) Ten times! HUNYAK (Spoken) Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe. VELMA (Spoken) Number seventeen-the spread eagle. MONA (Spoken) Artistic differences.  
  
LIZ Pop ANNIE Six JUNE Squish HUNYAK Uh uh VELMA Cicero MONA Lipschitz! 


End file.
